Patrick Cooper

Patrick Cooper is the owner of the Rusty Cup Emporium.

Patrick Cooper is wealthy and handsome. He swaggers into rooms and commands attention. He has an ongoing feud with Phoenix Jackson, though it is not clear when this feud started, or why. The feud does not have a lot of fire to it and seems to be mostly made up of mildly inconveniencing the other person. Patrick owns a jar of olives that appear to reduce rage. Patrick seemed confused that Phoenix would have sent the PCs to steal his olives, as he has many more worthwhile possessions, including a Walt Disney World Polynesian Resort coffee mug of ambiguous power.

To call Patrick a functioning alcoholic is to push the word "functioning" almost to breaking point. Phoenix is on the record as saying he does not remember if he has ever seen Patrick sober, and Patrick shows large gaps in his memory and lapses in judgement depending on the time of day and where he is on his daily drinking cycle. Patrick is also predatory and pursues sexual relationships with much younger women, including Ellison Prince. Patrick has more than once been pursued by The Thespian in the guise of Ellison Prince and each time seems genuinely surprised and confused.

Patrick appears to believe that Ponce de Leon's search for the Fountain of Youth in Florida was on the money, and that the perfect cocktail made with Floridian springwater would produce the Elixir of Life.

Patrick told Ellison that the last book that made him cry was Life of Pi, though he did not explain why.